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Hi. Bonjour. Hola. Aloha. I'm Stephanie, and I'm just a lost high school girl waiting for her chance to prove herself to everyone. I get doubted a lot; but I don't let it phase me. It just pushes me farther. I enjoy watching movies, talking to old friends, walks on the beach, and the random Pokemon battle here and there. I've been told that I'm pretty opinionated, and while I know that this blog probably wont be viewed my most, it's my chance to gather my thoughts all in one place. So stick around, read a little bit, I promise that you'll find at least ONE thing that's to your liking.
I really don’t like thinking about Time Zones. It’s weird to think that in California, their day has barely started, and how in Australia their already on the NEXT day. It’s weird. I’d like to think that time doesn’t even exist. And I keep thinking, and I realized, does time actually really exist? I can’t really answer that for you. I always kept wondering, what if it really wasn’t 2:02 P.M right now? What if the person that “created” (Which doesn’t make sense cause you can’t really ‘create’ anything) time was off by a few minutes. What if it was really 2:10 P.M right now? It’s kind of scary. Because if the time was wrong, basically everything else in the world is too. Does anything really have meaning? Probably not. Maybe we’re just here as a big experiment.
Who knows.
My brain hurts from thinking too much.
Take care.
Until next time,
Just, me.
Wow. Is it really possible that another year has already passed us? That we’re really in a new decade? I know I definitely can’t believe it. It’s like I just slept through half of the year because that’s honestly what it feels like. Looking back I can barely remember anything that has happened over the last year. That’s probably because I have nothing worth remembering. Of course, there is somethings, but I feel as if this year has a huge chunk missing from it, and it bothers me. Not because it’s missing, but because I can’t figure out why it’s missing. It’s true, 2009 has been both the best, and worst year. So much has happened that I want to forget, and so much has happened that I want to remember, and take to my grave with me. Overall 2009 sucked ass. But it also rocked too. (I know that whole last chunk of the paragraph is me contradicting myself, but I’m a teenager that can’t make up her mind, sue me.)
Reasons why it rocked:
Reason’s why it sucked:
I know I haven’t posted in over a week, but my water at my house went all crazy and we had to get a plumber to repipe my entire house. So basically my house was torn apart and I had to live at my cousins house for a while.
I’m sure I’ll post a hell of a lot more entries today so this blog wont feel lonely. It’s my new years resolution to keep up with it.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&ConfusedHappy.
I’ve realized that I’ve had this blog for a couple days, made more than a couple entries, and I haven’t even introduced myself to you, which really is a big mistake. After all, why would you read my blog if you knew absolutely nothing about me? Hmm. I apologize.
Anywho. Me. What is there to me exactly?
Well…
I’m one of those girls that just seeks happiness in everything. I always put my happiness on the back burner. I have it set in my mind that if everyone around me is happy, then I will be too. I don’t need much. I’m a writer, a poet, and a friend. I love to lay in the middle of the road and wait until a car comes and then quickly run to the other side before I get hit. I’m a dreamer. Reality isn’t nearly as great as my dreams. I’m a huge Pokemon nerd. I will make references to them daily. I love to read as well. Just the thought of going into a universe where you don’t exactly exist is highly appealing to me. I’m not the most fluent person you’ll meet; meaning that I trip over air, and I run into things daily. I also stumble over my words and I ramble a lot. When I’m nervous I bit my lip and move around, and talk, really really fast. I care too much about everything I shouldn’t, and much less about things I should. I get hurt easily, but I don’t let my true feelings show. If I’m quiet that usually means that somethings wrong, or I’m with people I don’t know well. I don’t expect much from people because basically everyone I’ve met has let me down. I’m not perfect, but I try to be pretty damn close. I have a really big heart and no matter what you hear, I’m definitely not a bitch. I’m way too nice, in fact. Giving out chances seems like a hobby for me. The way to my heart is making me laugh. It’s my favorite thing to do, I do it too much in fact. I’m a bit pessimistic about somethings, but I’m trying to see the good in everything. I sing even though I know I suck, I dance even though I have no rhythm, and I act because it’s my dream. I’m an animal lover, and will save an animal before a human. Sad, but true. I’m not conceited, even though at times I act like it. I look in mirrors a lot to make sure nothings wrong, I apologize too much because I hate it when people are upset, and I listen to music because it doesn’t make me feel so alone. I don’t really know what I want in life, all I know is that I want to be happy, which is really all we can ask for. I don’t want to hold back either, even though ninety-nine percent of the time, I end up doing so. I’m fifteen, but I probably know more than your average fifteen year old. I do act like I’m twelve sometimes, I apologize in advance. I’m a grammar snob, and I will correct you when you’re wrong. I’m an honors and AP student, but that doesn’t mean I think I’m smarter than most. I ask way too many questions because I want to know the world, and I daze off because I’m probably dreaming of you. When I’m older I want to live somewhere foreign, maybe London or Italy. Anyways, I’m Stephanie, but call me Stevie. I’m taken. I’m nice and friendly, until you give me a reason not to be. Everything that comes out of my mouth is usually sarcastic, so please don’t take anything I say seriously. Oh, and I do have an obsession with hot guys, especially Ryan Reynolds. I love full moons, stars, and fairytales. I make wishes at 11:11. Basically get to know me, and I’ll get to know you.
Wow. That was long. I apologize.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused&Happy?Happy.
What is exactly the definition of home to you? Is it the place where you live? Or is it the place, where no matter what you know that you’re always gonna have it, and it makes you feel safe? For me, it’s definitely the latter. My house is my house, I live there, I sleep there, and it does protect me, but it doesn’t make me feel safe. It’s just somewhere where I live, which I am grateful for, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t feel like it’s fitting. It feels like I’m visiting someone else’s house. I’m a guest in my own house. Which in reality is kind of sad.
My real home is definitely the beach. I feel like a superhero and I’m invisible when I’m there. Like nothing can touch me. The waves that surround me are my friends and the animals are an added bonus. I can’t really explain it, but everytime I leave the beach, it’s like part of me is missing, and I hate that.
Home is where the heart is.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
I don’t want to be one of those annoying girls that get obsessed with their boyfriends as soon as they get them (which wont happen, I promise) but last night, when I didn’t think that my Christmas could get ANY better, my crush asked me out. On Christmas Day. I don’t think I ever said yes to anything faster in my life. (which no doubt made me look like a complete idiot) But oh my god. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. I’m just so happy.
But he’s away. And I don’t know what to do. I wont see him for a while.
Blah.
This is one of the ONLY entries I’m going to be talking about my really really really “personal” life. But yeah. I figured I needed an entry.
So…
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
So I guess Christmas is now officially over. I just saw my family whom I haven’t seen since Thanksgiving (well most of them anyways.) It was really nice. It was the best Christmas we had in a while. I’m just really happy that everything went smoothly. I was a little scared for today, since my family is a little shattered because of some things that have happened recently, but it was just like old times. It was really everything that I could ask for and more. And looking around my family today, looking at everyone’s smiling faces, I realized that I truly am blessed with the family I have. We almost NEVER fight at family gatherings, something that most families definitely cannot say without smirking a bit. We truly love each other, which is why we were just happy to be with each other. As always, the food was absolutely delicious (not trying to gloat, but my family makes some pretty damn good food.)
Today was just an amazing day overall. I’m really grateful for everything that I got, materialistic and spiritual.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
Ah, the sweet day of Christmas. I think most of us love Christmas because of all of the presents we get. Christmas is basically an excuse for us to spend crazy amounts of money on things that we really wouldn’t buy for ourselves (either because we are too lazy or because they’re to expensive.) But who’s complaining? I know I’m not. While the presents are an added bonus, in my opinion, it’s not what Christmas is all about. I mean, isn’t opening those presents better when you know that Christmas is really about who you’re spending it with, rather than what you get? I’ve already opened all of my presents, and I’m more than happy with what I got so far, and I still have more to come (not trying to brag, I promise.)
It’s taken me fifteen years to realize that it’s not about the materialistic gifts that you get, but the gifts that being with family can bring you. I hope that I continue to remember this until I’m old, and I can pass it down to my kids, but I’m pretty sure I’ll forget every once in a while. After all, I’m human. I’m greedy and a glutton. But then again, who exactly isn’t?
Anywho, I’m off to go to my brothers to eat some yummy breakfast food, and then later on to my grandparents to eat some more yummy food, be with family, and to open more presents.
I hope all your Christmas’s are as wonderful as mine is so far.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
Wonder; I think it’s something that every human being is graced with having. I, have more than my share of wonder. It’s really a powerful thing, if you use it correctly. Which, you may be asking yourself now as you read this, how exactly do you use wonder incorrectly? It’s plenty possible, and it’s used to it’s disadvantage a lot. I feel like a baby sometimes, like a baby that just found out that it had toes AND fingers, and they wonder what exactly you use them for. It seems like every new discovery that’s bestowed upon me is like that.
I don’t even know what this is about to be honest. I think this has something to do that it’s six in the morning and I have nothing else to do. Who knows. But I was sitting here thinking about this one thing; what exactly do OTHER people wonder about? Are they like me? Wondering what other people wonder about? Or do the wonder about much more important things? Like why the sky’s blue? Or why it takes forever to find the one person that understands you so well that you happen to share a thing called love?
All this wondering is making my brain hurt.
I think I think too much for my own damn good sometimes.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
Wow. It’s insane how fast this year has gone by, but how slow it seems when you live it day to day. It’s already December, and I’m already a Sophmore. To be honest, when I was ten and dreaming how I was going to live my life, and how fast it was going to go, I didn’t think it end up like this. When you’re young, you don’t get what adults mean when they say “life just passes you by sometimes.” But now that I’m a fifteen year old girl that’s halfway through her second year in high school, I sure as hell believe it. I didn’t ever think I’d make it here, in all honesty. But I have, and I’m just in awe at it.
Anywho, it’s December 25th, which mean’s that it’s the lord’s birthday! In other words, it’s Christmas Day, something that I never expected to arrive so fast. It seems like just yesterday was the first day of school. As always, I had trouble sleeping last night (partly because of my horrible sleeping patterns, and also because of the anticipation of Christmas.) It happens every year. And I can’t control it. I guess it fades as you get older, but I’m not nearly to the age where it should fade.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, and that you share it with your families and friends. I don’t know you all, but I know for a fact that you all deserve it.
Take care.
Until next time,
Lost&Confused.
